Thursday, December 4, 2008

Time to stop and smell the roses: surviving single parenting part 2


A couple of weeks ago I ran to Walgreen's to grab a card, some tape and a bow.  Yes, I was wrapping a present.  When I say ran, literally I mean that.  Lately for the past three months it seems as if I am rushing through everything.  On this particular trip my mother n' law was in town and so I rushed to the store without kids.  On any other given day I would not have taken notice to how big a deal this trip was without kids, however, on this one particular day I noticed.   Oddly enough,  I didn't pick up on the fact that I was still rushing to park my car, rushing to find the aisle and rushing to find my card.   And, for those who know me closely, they know I could spend hours in the card aisle at the store; you get your laughter and sentiment all in one stop!  I grabbed a card and hastily made my way to the cashier.

The cashier was an elderly woman who had a thick accent and a wonderful smile.  One of those smiles that gave you the feeling she had a story.   When I meet people like that on the plane, waiting at a restaurant or at the park I am thrilled to talk and hear their story.  Well, this endearing woman slowed my pace with her smile and accent.  I asked her where she was from and she said she immigrated from Cuba.  That is all it took, I stopped and talked with her for a half hour.  I learned everything about her English studies in Cuba to her father encouraging her to not drop out of school because one day she might need her English!   

The conversation with this wonderful woman slowed my pace, my thoughts, it was organic, authentic and missing in my life for the past three months.  My drive home was short, but in the matter of three minutes I had pegged the yearning within my soul.   I longed for vitality and life again!  I had become weary of surviving.   The short life of single parenting that I have been existing in, had all consumed who I was.  The desire to stop and smell the roses, ceased to exist because the opportunity to stop and smell the roses, ceased to exist.

How do single parents maintain their individuality and their vitality in life when they are alone in raising their children?  It is easy for people to say, "oh, just get a sitter, or you really just need to carve out time for yourself."  Yes, that is true, however it is a lot harder than you realize when your in the storm and your just hanging on hoping to survive!