Moving into your heartache Part I

 Today my work reminded me of the painful road of life.  I'm not sure why this day in particular was revealing, because every one of my clients have heartaches.  I was reminded that life sometimes comes  to a complete stop and you really don't know which direction to go.  You are essentially stuck, paralyzed, frozen; sometimes in a familiar place and sometimes in a place you have never been.  

Either way it is painful.  And with that comes fear.  We are taught in the American culture to avoid pain whether emotional or physical.  We as Americans are dreamers, perfectionists and pain-avoiders!  We try to plan life so that we never find ourselves lost at a four-way stop or passionately navigate our children through life avoiding pit-stops and roadblocks.  We just want "happy" families.

The only drawback to that philosophy is, life is full of hurt.  So when we actually encounter  heartache our first instinct is to run and to run like hell!  We slam our car into reverse and go the exact opposite direction or  shove it into fifth gear and run through the red light of the pain.  We are not prepared.  A preparedness that allows you to gain  confidence that if you sit there long enough you will figure out which way to turn.  You will realize that you are going to be okay, even though your heart is breaking.  You will be all right.

One of the greatest examples of "letting the car idle" or "sitting in with your pain" is that of Jesus Christ.  My readings and observations of His life lead me to see how He engaged in heartache and pressed into it.  He did not fear it nor did he run from it.  He knew the agony of the Cross and yet entered into the heartache and lamented to God.  Did His being fully present with his pain change His situation?  No, not in that moment or that day.  We can either be open to healing or shut healing out.  Well, if you are constantly running from what needs healing, it will be difficult to begin to heal.

 

Have you experience the relief than comes  when you  have been lost and then figure out where you are at? Figuring it out took some evaluation of your situation and then action.  It may have required you to initiate a change in how you look at the map or current road.  Initially you needed to stop or slow down your car so you could read the map or signs.    Isn't it funny how sometimes when you say, "okay, I give, where are we?"  amazingly you see a sign that shows you where you are at.  It took you just sitting there to notice what you hadn't noticed before when you were worried about which way to go.

We can experience a wonderful peace during and after being lost in our pain.  We learn and grow sometimes from the darkest places in our lives.  But, we have to move into it and not away from it...  We must believe that we will get through this, there is life on the other side.  And when you have experienced the peace while in your heartache, and realize the pain doesn't go away, and your going to be okay; you will not choose to have it any other way.  You will not choose to reverse the car or run the red light.  You will just sit there and trust that healing will come in its time.  Because you will get through this.

I know it to be true for myself.  The harder I tried to run from my heartache the more painful it became.  The day I surrendered to the fact that I was absolutely lost, was the day I began to experience peace.  My pain still existed, but it did not have the power over me as it did in the past.  I essentially surrendered to a greater Presence (God) and got okay with just being "idle" at my four way stop.